Avoidance Journey Update
For those of you who are not in the loop, I’ve been on an Avoidance Journey.
Here’s a lil recap of what that is and why I’m doing it. One fine day of scrolling, I stumbled upon the brilliant, hilarious, incredible creator and writer Jen Butler. She was doing an Avoidance Journey. She wrote down 30 things she wanted to do and wasn’t doing. She said she was tired of her dreams not coming true, complaining about it, and not doing anything about it. And I was like, ‘OMG JEN! Same! Same Same!’ Then I promptly did nothing about it. After a bit of further avoidance, I sat down and really thought about what I want in my life. I ended up with 13 things. Because I’m a tarot reader, I assigned a tarot card to each task. I matched the energy of the card to the energy of the task. Then I shuffled them up, a card popped out, and I began.
April 27, 2025 I pulled the card Wheel of Fortune. The Wheel of Fortune represented the task to create a guided journal. I have always wanted to create a journal with prompts to help people create a life they love waking up to. I used Jen’s Goal-ephant (which is such a fun tool) to break the task into bite sized chunks, and then I began.
I will be totally honest. I was a bit freaked out. I was a bit like ‘who am I to create a journal to help people’. I definitely thought I was not capable, not good enough, didn’t have enough authority, etc. I thought I’m not allowed to do that. But, with a great deal of self-nourishing, a bit of therapy, encouragement from my friends, and a bit of sheer stubbornness, I broke through all those lying, judging voices, and I did it!
In fact, I ended up making two journals! I am so so proud of them. They turned out beautiful and are the best things I have ever created. Not only did I create two journals, I did so much more. In the time it took me to do the journals I also:
Started, worked through, and completed the Artist’s Way (which helped me complete the journals)
Attended a 5 week poetry class
Began a 9 month Reiki training course (which is 6 months in now)
Joined a spiritpreneur collaboration network
Went to the beach to rest and renew my spirit and celebrate my birthday
Attended the Texas Conference for Women (read about that here and here)
Threw a launch party to celebrate my books
It is rather incredible to me how getting momentum on one project allows you to gain momentum in all areas of your life.
So, as this new month began, I sat down on November 1st to see where I am with my goals and was rather shocked to find that my journals are complete. I looked over the Goal-ephant and found that there is nothing more to be done. In 188 days, or just over 6 months, I went from hey I want to do this, to done and then some.
I can’t say that I love doing this. It is hard. It is scary. It is confronting. I am confronting long held beliefs about what I can and cannot do, about how I am allowed to show up in the world. I am growing and the growth is uncomfortable. The growing pains are real. I am stepping up into who I’ve always wanted to be and living how I’ve always wanted to live. But that means stepping out of my comfort zone in real ways that are stretching my capacity.
It is hard, but the right kind of hard. I am definitely going to keep going. And I definitely would recommend doing an avoidance journey to anyone who asks. Here are some tools I recommend for the anyone attempting this:
Friends. Don’t go it alone. Tell your friends what you are doing. Ask them for help. Show them your progress. Ask for feedback and praise.
Celebrate the milestones. Don’t just celebrate at the end. Celebration helps keep your motivation
Jen’s Goal-ephant. It makes the tasks digestible and fun
Document your progress. Even if you’re not sharing in a public forum, document for yourself so you can see your progress
Journal. Journaling what you are going through as it happens so you can process, sort it out, and not get stuck
A therapist or coach. We avoid things for real reasons and some tough stuff will probably come up. Having an expert to walk through it with you is a big deal
Make it your own! Jen did hers with numbered tasks because that worked for her. I did mine with tarot cards because that spoke to me. Maybe you want to do yours as book titles or movies or candles or any of a thousand different ways. It’s your journey, do it your way.
Now it is time for the next task.
For 6 months the cards hung neatly and decoratively on the wall. I pulled them down, shuffled them up, and selected a card.
I looked at it and promptly threw it across the room.
If I felt stretched before, well, this next one is a doozy.
I am going to have to learn to show up, allow myself to be seen, and to ask for help. The last six months have been a wild ride, I have no idea what the next six months will bring. Stay tuned!